Lane Kiffin, WHAT THE ……………?!?!

Nigga, I hate you

First and foremost, Congratulations to the Notre Dame Fighting Irish for beating my USC Trojans and most likely heading to the National Title Game. Here’s the thing about Notre Dame that’s funny; Before the season, I said that Notre Dame was practically irreverent and that if they didn’t win this year, they would probably never really matter that much as a program. Well the joke is on me. Notre Dame, led by senior linebacker Manti Te’o (He almost went to USC, imagine that) will be heading to the National Title Game to probably face Alabama. A dream season for the Irish fans who frankly deserve it.

Notre Dame fans are completely classy, and I respect their program a hell of a lot more than I respect UCLOL‘s (You may have beaten us on the field, but I’ll still mock you).  Te’o has had my respect as a football player since this September. He lost his grandma and his girlfriend in the same week, and then went and balled out of his mind against Michigan State. That alone gains my respect for the guy, and hopefully he can win the Heisman Trophy because good guys deserve good things.

All week, I thought Notre Dame would win this football game. Why? Because I felt like even though USC has better talent on the field, Notre Dame is much more sound and they play perfect football. USC is all about flash and substance; Notre Dame is all about grinding out victories, and toughness. In my honest opinion, I think Notre Dame can matchup with Alabama or Georgia because they want to play the same way they want to. Brian Kelly is a better coach than people think, and Notre Dame’s defense is better than people think.

USC’s season has been a comedy of errors. In fact, I found myself laughing through most of this game last night because USC’s defense doesn’t GET it. Notre Dame’s quarterback Everett Golson is good, and probably one of the best quarterbacks we’ve faced this year. But why are we going to play cover 2 against him? Why make this guy sit back and carve us up like Hundley, Mariota, Scott, and even Josh Nunes. I already told you all last week that the Tampa 2 was terrible and tonight was another example of it. The funny thing about USC is that I don’t think the defense played THAT bad tonight. I mean, they held Notre Dame to 5 field goals. Sure, USC can’t get off the field on 3rd downs. It’s been a huge problem all season long, but they did just enough to win a ballgame.

USC’s offense wasn’t that bad considering what they were going up against. Max Wittek BALLED (It’s his job to lose). Silas Redd will return, and he provided a spark. Marqise Lee is a sophomore, and he can make plays. I think Robert Woods will be gone, and if it was his last night playing in the Coliseum, he played like Robert Woods. The problem with USC’s offense isn’t the players. It’s not the talent. It’s the playcalling.


Lane Kiffin doesn’t get it. This is USC. We play for Championships. Lane, we don’t play for the Sun Bowl. We play and win Rose Bowls. The Granddaddy. We’re not one of those programs who’s excited to just make a bowl. USC ran a slogan all summer saying “We Play to Rise.” My personal favorite was “We Play for Roses.” Lane Kiffin has spun this into “We Play to go 7-5.” Nigga Kiffin really is saying “We Play For the Sun Bowl.” Where the hell is the Sun Bowl at?  We aren’t the University of Washington, bro (speaking of UW, their fans can stop talking about my team and how they were ranked and we weren’t when they just lost to Washington State. Washington State. Who lost to Colorado. Don’t ever speak of USC again.). This is the University of Southern California, where you are judged off of performances in big games on National TV.  (I googled where the Sun Bowl is, and it’s El Paso, Texas. Nigga, we’re going to Mexico for New Years? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!)



Last week, I talked about how playcalling has been an issue all season long.

When it comes down to situations, Lane Kiffin has no idea what he’s doing, and this has happened plenty of times this season.

Last night, once again. Lane Kiffin struck GOLD when it came to being clueless. Sometimes, I think Lane Kiffin forgets that he has two first round picks at receiver. I think Lane tries to be too fancy at times instead of being simple. Last night was easily one of those nights where Kiffin was just… I don’t even know the right word. How about Terrible? Yeah, that’s right. USC is down 9 and it’s first and goal with about 4 minutes left. Just watch the video.

Two QB sneaks, a run, and then a rollout pass to ………. Soma Vainuku? ND’s run defensive line is dominant, and they showed their dominance in the 2nd half. USC’s offensive line is good, but not that good to counter that. At least not this year. I can understand the first QB sneak. because that’s logical. You’re at the half yard line. Call it. But why not go back to Marqise Lee vs some freshman corner? It got you to the half yard line. Try it again. Then keep trying it. He’s the best receiver, if not player in college football. The 4th down call is still unbelievably stupid. Soma Vainuku can’t catch anything.  You tried this at Stanford. Dropped. Tried at Arizona. Dropped. And then tonight. Dropped.

The crazy thing is that USC still would have lost tonight regardless. Notre Dame’s offense isn’t the greatest in the world, but SC’s defense wasn’t gonna stop them. Especially with having just one timeout left.  It’s frustrating as a fan to see your favorite team go through this type of struggle because of coaching. You can have all of the talent in college football (USC has top 5 talent, honestly), and yet an average coach doesn’t know how to use his players well. I told my mom today that Kiffin didn’t put Max Wittek in a position to win this ballgame, and I was correct.


Everyone looks at Matt Barkley for saying that he had “unfinished business” in college football, and how USC wanted to “take back” the conference, and the Nation. With this type of talent, you should believe that you can end up at least playing for the Rose Bowl, if not the National Title. But Kiffin’s play-calling cost Matthew a shot at something every USC QB wants to do: Win the Rose Bowl. That’s how we judge guys around here. Rose Bowls. It’s sad as hell that Matthew Barkley will not play in a BCS game. It’s sad that he has to go this season of hell because of his coach’s inability to put him in a situation to win.

For example, against Stanford, Kiffin actually said that he didn’t have the team ready to play. My opinion? Kiffin’s arrogance simply costed USC games. Sure, Kiffin isn’t turning the ball over. Kiffin isn’t have the foolish penalties. But he’s the coach. Take some accountability for your team bro. Instead of having wise cracks in the media about your quarterback, who turned down top 5 money to come back and finish some business (that business was never really finished), you should probably appreciate it.

After the game, Kiffin made this comment:

I’d be disappointed too. I hear them. I feel them. Regardless of scholarship reductions. We’ve got to do better.

Lane. The season is over, bro. In fact, as a fan……… I was lost once SC lost to Arizona because I knew that if SC couldn’t beat Arizona, they had no shot against Oregon, and some shot at UCLA & Notre Dame. Getting down double digits in games, the players not having any energy, that’s a reflection of their coach. Scholarship reductions didn’t make USC lose 5 games this year. Lack of game adjustments, suspect play-calling, and bad schemes on defense hurt the USC Trojans.

This is gonna be a  long off-season, especially if USC loses in Mexico for the Sun Bowl. I don’t even know. I’ll probably never go to USC in my life, but I’m always gonna be a fan. Things have to change, though. What has to? I’m not even sure. I don’t think Lane Kiffin should be fired. But Kiffin’s honeymoon period is OVER, and as a fanbase, we can’t sit and defend his every little move. Kiffin is still young, and his X’s and O’s are flawed (He’s a worst version of John Calipari when it comes to coaching). Does he have a chance to improve himself? Of course he does. But last night showed that Lane Kiffin is incapable of being an offensive coordinator, and being a coach at the same time. Lane, it’s time to hire an offensive coordinator. Time to put someone up in the booth for them to call the plays. It’s only right.

USC right now is terrible. It’s a terrible  football team, and that’s me being nice. If you would have told me in August that USC would have 5 losses by December, I would have laughed my ass off. Literally would have just laughed. It’s weird to see this team with all the talent, not win because of coaching. Not because they aren’t good, but because of coaching. It’s hilarious to me.

Like my dude Snoopy

But hey. USC has 5 losses. No excuses. Just a lot of head-scratching, and attempting to never remember this season. Pure stressful, and hey it’s over now.  USC fans, we got Kiffin’d last night. Badly. I’m a young USC fan, and I’ve been spoiled. Most USC fans have lived through Hackett/Robinson and this is nothing to them. To me, this is just the end of everything. I’ve only known one USC coach in Uncle Pete Carroll, and even his last season began this whole failure. I’m not sure where to go from here as a program because this season was a major failure.  I’m always gonna “fight on” because that’s the only thing to do. But is Kiffin the answer for coaching this team? We all know he can recruit, but a lot of changes need to occur for USC to reach that level of excellence again. Sure, the sanctions are gonna be over in a few years, and USC is actually doing a good job within it, but at the same time, sanctions aren’t the excuses for this 7-5 season. Kiffin is.

Lane Kiffin, it’s time for you to hire an offensive coordinator, and just focus on being a coach from here on out. Your play-calling days are OVER, sir. If you want to save yourself in my eyes as the coach of my favorite team ever, fix yourself. Then, fix this program. We all know that this recruiting class will be a top 10 class, but you have to coach them  on the field when it actually matters. Win a big game that’s on National TV.  Prove me wrong, Lane. Please.

Fight On, everyone.

Notre Dame my nigga, I hate it had to be you

Nah. Nah. Nah.

Now this happened last week. Others talked about it. I still can’t believe it.

Notre Dame, why are you doing this to yourself?

Now, as a young USC fan (Been a fan since I was 10 years old), I can tell you right now that USC has dominated this rivalry. I mean dominated. Even when we lost in 2010, ND fans were shocked they came out to LA and won. I mean, let’s think about this. In USC’s glory days (2003-2008), there was one legit game (2005, the 2nd best game I’ve seen in my life). I thought after this game, well… maybe the rivalry is back.

Good job, good effort

But after a USC rout in 2006, and routs in 2007/08, I shrugged it off. There was a time period where Notre Dame didn’t score a touchdown against USC. In fact, it happened in between 2 years (07-08). Every time I saw ND on the schedule, I knew we win. Even in 2009, I’d knew we win. So did Notre Dame fans.  The real question was, how much are we gonna win by? Which is really really funny. (I almost forgot Notre Dame came out to USC and won in 2010. Nobody talked about it. Not a single soul spoke to me about it. Maybe because I didn’t care because Mitch Mustain started the game, maybe it was because the rivalry really doesn’t matter anymore.)

lol Brian Kelly

Now Notre Dame fans, don’t get mad at me for what I’m about to say. In fact, what I’m about to say has already been said by millions of people. I’ll just say it in a different tone, but in the same type of way.

Notre Dame, nobody gives a fuck about you anymore. Which is sad as hell. I know. You think the media cares about you still (ESPN actually sent me a text message about who will start Notre Dame’s opener, so cool). But let’s face it. They care about you only to make fun of you at the end of the season. I’ll sum up Notre Dame’s season like this:

Preseason top 25, high expectations. Kirk Herbstreit confusing me with questions like ” Do you think this is the year Notre Dame cracks the BCS? Is Brian Kelly going to lead Notre Dame back into the national prominence?”

Middle of the season it’s like, “What’s wrong with Notre Dame? Why are they terrible in the red zone? Is (insert quarterback) actually better than (insert backup)?

Then, at the end of the season, the questions are like, “Why did the Irish underachieve? Will they win a bowl game? Is Brian Kelly on the hot seat?”

It’s like this EVERY season.

Now, it’s getting comical.


Ever since almost beating USC in 2005, giving Charlie Weis a HUGE contract extension for almost beating the 7th best team of all-time (Best team not to win a title ever. Blame ESPN though. They proclaimed us champs before we took the field in the 2006 Rose Bowl. Even though we were up 12, with 6 minutes left… let me stop before I start crying), and then the 2006 booty (heh, John David cooked against ND, how does that happen) kicking in the Coli, I’ve been quietly laughing.

Notre Dame’s spiral from grace is sad, though. Notre Dame hasn’t won a national title since 1988. 1988. The last time Notre Dame was ranked #1 in the country was in 1993. I was sitting here crying about the last time USC being ranked #1 in anything was 2008, but got damn Notre Dame. 1993. Notre Dame plays all their games on NBC. On a National audience every week. It’s dope. But, when you aren’t winning, nobody gives a shit.

Do you really think that teams get scared about facing Notre Dame now? Do you think teams get nervous going into Notre Dame Stadium and seeing touchdown Jesus?

Tulsa wasn’t.

I mean, this isn’t slander. I’m not even trolling. I’m asking a question.

Notre Dame is playing a game in Ireland this season. In fact, it’s in 2 weekends. 6 am in the morning on CBS against Navy, I believe. Now, why are they doing this? Something about trying to “recruit” or working on their “international” brand.

I mean, it’s cool and all, but why does Notre Dame think they are better than everyone else?

The golden helmets are dope. The tradition is awesome. But face the facts Notre Dame fans. Attempting to stay relevant for the sake of recruits is ridiculous. Notre Dame can recruit its self. Or at least, I thought so.

Here’s something I thought was hilarious about Notre Dame:

Last year, ND is playing USC. About 75 recruits (I think, I don’t know the exact numbers because I don’t care enough) are there. ND is playing music on 3rd downs, the crowd is alive, it’s a competitive game, and Notre Dame brings out these golden helmets that are actually the color of the Golden Dome. It was dope to watch. Then, well.

And then.

Then, basically, the game was over. USC wins 31-17. ND throws a party for the recruits, we crash it, and it boosts our confidence going into this season. (Thanks, Notre Dame!) Rumor has it, the nigga Lane Kiffin walks by the recruits, doesn’t say a word to them, and just smiles as he’s walking back to the locker room.


After the game, the 2012 Heisman winner, Marc Tyler, and Chris Galippo make a comment about Notre Dame. Comments that has been true for years, and now finally, the big brother in the rivalry finally said it.

Chris Galippo:

At the end there, when they didn’t call those timeouts, they just quit. And that’s what Notre Dame football’s about. They’re not anything like USC. We’re coming halfway across the country to play these guys. hey hyped it up. This was their Super Bowl. They had 26 or 27 official visits this weekend.

Marc Tyler:

That’s what happens when you beat them down. We wore them out. They didn’t want to play no more. We out-physicaled them and beat them down.

Then, the heisman winner says this on the radio:

I was shocked that they didn’t use the (fourth-quarter) timeouts because we got on the field with … about seven minutes left, and I thought they were planning on stopping us and saving their timeouts for the end when they had the ball. It seemed from our sideline and our perspective that they did give up. It seemed uncharacteristic of Notre Dame. I wouldn’t have wanted to have been on that sideline.

So basically, when three players on the opposing team says that you quit on a team, and basically that your program is all hype, but no show, it’s probably that.

Wanna know how you can be relevant again Notre Dame? Join the Big East. Join the Big 12. Join the ACC. You know. A conference. Enough of this independent bullshit. I know, I know. The television contract you have with NBC won’t be renewed if you did this, plus you don’t want to share revenue with other schools. But when have you made big time BCS bucks? 2006? I mean, at this state of college football, you can’t be an independent to win.

It also helps if you keep a coach longer than 4 years to build a program. I know, I know. Lou Holtz came in and brought glory to the football team in the 80s. But last I checked, this isn’t the 80s and early 90s Notre Dame fans. Lou Holtz is on ESPN picking you to win every week, and you replace coaches like rappers replace hoes. It’s astonishing and quite funny. Yes, I know. The expectations for Notre Dame Football are high. But, in order to have success, you can’t replace coaches because they don’t win.

I wish I was making this up

Wanna know what Notre Dame is good at? Honestly. Notre Dame plays on National TV,  and they help Heisman candidates. Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Toby Garhart, Andrew Luck, Denard Robinson, and many more. I mean this year, Notre Dame will help out Landry Jones, Denard, and the 2012 Heisman winner campaign alone. It’s a blessing that you play on National TV every Saturday. Heisman campaigns are helped out.

Lane and Matthew know

Everyone has caught up to you, if not already surpassed you. If anything, Notre Dame isn’t even a top tier team in College Football. It might not even be 2nd tier. Which is sad.  I want Notre Dame to be good again. I want Notre Dame to be relevant, so when we play them in November in even years, and October in odd years, it’s a good rivalry again. I don’t want you to beat us in a fluke season. I want you to beat us, and to have your fanbase mean it.

It’s embarrassing how disappointing Notre Dame’s fall from grace is. As a rival of yours, I’m embarrassed that we beat you guys for 8 straight seasons. That’s not a rivalry, that’s assault with a deadly weapon.   Hopefully, Brian Kelly can figure it out because if not, we’ll see another coach in 2 years trying to create some magic.

So Notre Dame fan, I’m not here to make fun of you (Okay, maybe I am, but all in good fun), but I’m here to simply tell you that your program doesn’t mean shit to anyone anymore. It’s okay. It’s not a big deal. Hopefully this year, the rivalry takes new heights, and you don’t quit in the 4th quarter.  Trust me, I want you to be good.

– Shaun