I’m tired. 

First off, I forgot I had a WordPress. I haven’t written a blog on here in about a year. Wild. 

Anyway. I guess I came back here because I can’t write this on my tumblr. Not because it’s another blog site but because I use that for personal things. Right now, right here, on this blog site, this is needed. 

It’s been a long week. I’m actually writing this on the bus because I was gonna write this at work but my laptop crashed yet again. That’s besides the point. 

I apologize ahead of time for the language. 

I’m tired. If you’re an American, you should be tired. I just happen to be a black American and it’s double the tired.  It’s the same shit different week. I’m tired of black men being a hashtag, and then tired of how the media makes black men guilty by dying at routine traffic stops. If you call yourself an American, you should be tired of this too. 

I’m tired of people telling me how to feel about this shit. Don’t tell me how to feel about people dying. Don’t tell me to be silent because you want to ignore and be oblivious to it. 

I’m tired of people saying all lives matter because they don’t want to say black people who aren’t entertainers, athletes etc., to matter. That’s not how this works anymore. We get it. Shit, when I get it. Yes, all lives matter. But that can’t happen unless you simply look at the damn picture and see that black lives aren’t being valued at the same rate as everyone else. You’d think with the amount of people who sit and claim that all lives matter, they’d actually stop being hypocrites. 

I’m tired of how law enforcement officials take offense to people being afraid of them. It goes back to the silence. If you know something is wrong, speak up. We have voices for a reason. 

I’m tired of the unnecessary violence this week. It sickens me that those officers lost their lives just like I was sick when two black people are dead this week. These people have families. Kids. It’s disgusting. 

I’m tired of how people want to pick sides over it. Black life matters. We do need law enforcement. That being said, we need to hold these people accountable.  Killing someone for sport is barbaric. Not being charged for public execution and being put on paid leave is outrageous. Heads up, it’s totally okay to say black lives matter and that we need law enforcement. If only law enforcement members wouldn’t be afraid of black people to where pulling your gun out to intimidate us while we’re complying. Which makes me even more tired that these cowards call themselves officers. 

I used to have hope that things would change in America. I used to think that people would look at me as a black man, a person who is just as ambitious, motivated, and eager to take on the world just like everyone else. Turns out, a certain section of America sees me as a threat. A threat to their “perfect” world. That’s the tiring thing of all. 

So what is this generation gonna do? We gonna accept this as the norm and not give a shit until something happens to people who aren’t PoC? Are we gonna accept that we need to value every life like the all lives matter crowd keeps speaking about in their hypocrisy? Are we gonna actually have the conversation about  or is this one of those things where some of y’all won’t give damn about any of this next month? 

Whatever we do, it’ll impact the next generation. And the generation after that. If you want our children  and our children’s children to live in a world where we spew how everyone is equal, then let’s do something. Until then, I’m tired. Be better. Stop being ignorant.