Happy Birthday, Kobe Bryant

Shoutout to Kobe  Bean Bryant on turning 34 today.

5 titles, 2 time finals MVP (you could make the case, he could have 3 because in 2001, Kobe BALLED out of his mind). 2 gold medals, 4 all-star MVPs, a MVP, 10 time 1st team NBA, 14 time all-star, and 9 time 1st team defender.

Pretty decent career if you ask me.

Bean is getting older, and it’s expected (at least from me) that he’ll retire by the time he turns 36. Folks say that it’s young to retire but, Kobe has been playing ball for 16 (it’ll be 17 coming up) years.

If anything, Bean has to be the most talked basketball player of all-time. Folks hate Kobe Bryant, and Kobe fans call them “haters” (which is a hilarious word), and the people who are called “haters” call kobe fans “stans” (So mature, everyone). It’s funny how one NBA player can change a tone of a conversation.

As a Laker fan, I’ve always appreciated his game, but I know that he’s not a top 4 NBA player. Might not even be top 5. I don’t really care that much though. Dude still gets the job done for not having any knees left.

Now what am I gonna do today for Kobe’s birthday?

I’m just gonna be like Dave Chappelle.

Just without the condom.


Hopefully, this nigga can get his 6th ring on his way out.

– Shaun


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