Why this Twilight breakup is funny to me.

She’s good looking enough to get guys to like her?!

I know it’s been out for awhile, but I haven’t really addressed it.

If you’ve been living under a rock, you would know by now that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, co-stars on Twilight (Those movies are TRASH IMO, I’m not down for the Vampires movement, b) broke up recently because Kristen couldn’t keep her legs up on set, cheating on him with director Rupert Sanders, who happened to be married.

First off, and I don’t judge men at all, but Robert Pattinson is a ugly looking dude. She’s an ugly looking girl, and this director couldn’t keep his junk down around her,which is so ironic because his wife was a model. I mean, if you’re gonna cheat Kristen, don’t do it with the director. Sleep with one of the film people or the producer. That way, it doesn’t come out in the public until 3-4 years from now (I’m not saying cheating is right, but be smart my friends).

Ladies like this? smh

But now, after rumor has it, Kristen and Robert were planning on having a child together (What is this? Some young Justin and Britney all over again?) and now, she’s left with nothing. Movie director Sanders is trying to make a way with his wife, but she’s not having it. Robert is out partying in LA (I guess when you have money, all girls find you attractive), and Kristen is singing the #Sadderday playlist because she knows she messed up for awhile.

I find all of this funny because of the reaction most people have about this. Is it that big of a deal that they broke up? Celebrities break up all the time. It wasn’t meant to be. Get over it. I think we’re all (myself included) wrapped up about Celebrities’ lives to realize that we’ll never really meet these people for one, and that their lives aren’t ours.

He piped, then she piped Wade Robson after

I’m trying to remember my reaction to Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears’  public breakup back in the early 2000s. Oh wait, I remember. I didn’t give a shit. Sure, it was kinda sad how it unfolded (In the same exact way, actually), but at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with my life. (Unless you consider his album “Justified” a big part of my life. Which, it still is to this day. *shrugs*) Both Robert and Kristen are gonna move on, I would assume. (I don’t know them personally, but thank god I don’t know them wack white niggas.) Sure she’s gonna be “devastated” now, but in two years, she’ll find someone else, and nobody will really remember this ever happening (Unless, Pattinson becomes a recording star and writes a song about this. I hope not).

Folks are making public shrines about how sad they are because of this breakup.

You can’t be serious b

I can’t believe folks are really doing this.

Jesus didn’t die for us for THIS to occur, b.

Jesus didn’t tuck his napkin in shirt before he fed the people, yall.

He didn’t catch a body like that on the cross for people crying over this.

Listen.

She cheated. She’s claiming it was a “lack of judgment,” but anytime you sleep with the director, that’s not a lack of judgment. That’s you trying to get another role in one of his film.

Can’t fool a don, Kristen

The fact that these “Twilight” fans are making a big deal over a breakup is hilarious. If you’re a fan of Twilight, you shouldn’t be crying about them breaking up. Crying isn’t going to make things better, but it’ll make most of America laugh at your ass. If anything, you should be happy that they did breakup. Maybe a breakup makes these terrible movies much better, and makes him stop being a moist little bitch over it.

All I’m saying is,

people have got to relax over this.

Celebrities break up all the time.

Get over it.

He must be a twilight fan, b

I’m out of here.

-Shaun

 

 

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