When will “thoughts and prayers” be more than “thoughts and prayers?”

Yesterday’s school shooting in Parkland, Florida shouldn’t affect me. I don’t have a reason to feel this grief, this sadness, and pain for individuals I don’t know – but yet, I woke up this morning feeling this grief about what I’m reading, which saddens me about the current state of society here in America.

According to the news media, there have been 18 school shootings (counting yesterday)  in less than 50 actual days within the new year. If you’re also keeping track at home, that’s literally a little more than 30 actual school days. Now some are trying to debunk this, and you know, whatever floats your boat to take away from problem. The point stands. It’s one too many.

Am I surprised the shooter in this case was influenced by a white supremacist group? I’m really not. Nothing rarely surprises me anymore.  These things have been normalized to the point now where I bet you can recycle this blog in about 3 weeks. 

I remember Sandy Hook back in 2012 because I had a doctor’s appointment and was appalled reading the news on my phone. Some of you reading this probably remember what happened at Columbine in 1999 (I vaguely remember that, but I was 6 and I do remember being in elementary school doing lockdown drills for awhile after that. Shoutout to Olympic View!).

Sandy Hook was the peak of the school shooting & gun control issue in America. When a bunch of children die, and the response is “well this is a hoax because President Obama and the left want gun control,” then we should have known that it was always going to be “thoughts and prayers” because people love claiming the 2nd amendment although… it’s a little bit outdated.

The phrase “thoughts and prayers” irks me at times, especially when it comes from the people we elect. I’m not saying they can’t have “thoughts and prayers,” but at some point, the “thoughts and prayers” you supposedly are sending to the families and victims should result in action. Action that should have began with laws years, if not almost two decades ago.

Nobody is saying “take away all of the guns” (well some are), but in a country where these events happen more than anybody wants them to, maybe we should talk about having regulations instead of waiting for another event to happen so we can muster up the same talking points instead of actually giving a shit about who these things happen to.

I just, I don’t know man.

I’m not a politician, nor do I want to be (although Brent, Jake, and myself would be a hell of a trio in the White House). However, something is going to have to give. Either we as citizens actually hold people accountable who get paid to create some type of laws as they sit and tweet “thoughts and prayers”  or we continue to reach the same fate every 10-15 days, asking ourselves “another school shooting?”

I can’t say this enough. We can only be the change we want to see. Take action. Be responsible before it’s too late.




halftime was a typical justin timberlake performance, if you’ve been paying attention for the last 4 years.

if you don’t like him, whatever. that’s your opinion, and honestly, i could care less.

however –

stop crying and using these big ass words to attempt to prove a point that doesn’t need to be proved. we get it. or at least i get it.

nobody forced you to watch the halftime show. there’s no need to watch a halftime show just to thinkpiece it to death when you most of you bitched about him getting the nod in October as most of you claimed to boycott the NFL anyway.

if you’re mad at an artist for performing his hits at a halftime show and playing it safe by having himself instead of bringing out lance bass in 2018…………………………………………….

yeah okay, 2018 internet.

if you gonna spend time over a thinkpiece,  maybe spend the energy writing about how pathetic it was that dodge used MLK in a commercial during black history month instead of crying about justin timberlake at the halftime show.

one day, it’ll all make sense. congrats to the eagles. haters gonna say it’s fake, tho.



I promise you, I’m not crazy.

Depression is a real thing. I’ve never been like this before. Not many know I’m facing this, and I don’t want people to like, know about it, until now.

I knew something was wrong with me weeks ago. Mentally, I wasn’t myself. I was having crazy mood swings and lashing out on people, and either crying myself to sleep or drinking heavy just to sleep and hide the pain.

As a person, I dealt with a lot in 2017, especially in the latter half with the loss of my grandpa. On the outside, you see someone who can fake a smile, but that’s just a face to keep. I’ve been doing that since the beginning of time. Everybody has their own personal demons that they’re faced with and for me, I keep a lot bottled in and I’m 95 percent never honest with anyone.

Everyone deals with events differently. I haven’t coped with my grandpa dying yet because the void of losing a father figure is there. At first, I shrugged it off because it didn’t hit me. It hit me that my papa wasn’t here anymore at the end of October while I was calling home. When you’re consistently busy with school and work, you rarely have a moment where you have that free time to think. I found that moment where it clicked and it triggered instantly. Since then, I can’t lie to you, it’s been fake happiness.

There are days where I just sit and cry while drinking a four to six cans of miller lite in a hour, which isn’t normal or healthy. But that’s how I numb the pain of it. There are also days where I just sleep all day, not because I’m this lazy figure of a person (it actually bothers me that people think I’m lazy), but because I don’t have the energy to do anything. I’m not proud to admit that, but it is what it is. Social media is a great place to mask things. I post a lot of pictures on Instagram that show the happy side because why send a selfie on the internet with you in tears at 2 AM?

There are times where I lash out at people and I don’t mean anything by it. But the words that I’ve said to those have probably cost me friendships, which leads me to have regret over things and hopefully, maybe one day, they’ll understand how truly sorry I am that I hurt them and ultimately, forgive me. 

I know there are people out there who are in the same shoes as me – People who are depressed and probably do more than what I do – either taking drugs or drinking heavy loads of alcohol to help cope with it, or ultimately, killing themselves because that’s the only thing they know how to do. I’m not writing this for sympathy or attention. There are plenty of other things I could do in life to get those things.

Two reasons why I’m writing this – One, for me to be self-aware on my life, and to realize that I’m not this superhuman. I’m human and I need some help.  Two, I want people who could be in this position to know that they aren’t alone in this regardless of what others say and think about you.

For myself, it’s finding a professional just to talk to, which I’m gonna strive to do in a week or two. Learning that people aren’t alone in this struggle makes me feel a little better. My goals this year is to be more honest with myself and other people about life, and to find something everyday that makes me happy. Writing this helps.

It’s one step and day at a time. I know days will be hard still, but the biggest thing I’ve learned in the last week or so is talking it out. I’ll be okay in the long run. 

Thanks for reading.

USC fans confuse me.

The USC Trojans are 10-2, a fringe top ten team heading into a bye week after beating their crosstown rivals on Saturday night.   USC clinched a spot in the Pac-12 Championship Game already by winning the south division two Saturday afternoons ago  in a weird game in the place where The Chainsmokers claimed their ex had roommates from in that one song (We ain’t ever getting older).

USC should* win the Pac-12 championship. . As a fan, I say should because conference title games are tricky, but USC is playing the best in one of the worst conferences right now, and they have the best roster, although Stanford and Washington State could give problems.

This season, a lot of USC fans have made me angrier than I should be.  I for one predicted 10-2 or 11-1 (show tweet) in January because when I saw the schedule, I saw at least two losses at most because of the bye week, and the placement of how USC had to travel to Pullman on a Friday night, then play Notre Dame in South Bend as they would come off a bye week after playing a physical Utah team. It was obvious. Shit happens.

The word “fan” is short for “fanatic.” USC fans whine more than any other fanbase in college athletics. Here’s a team that’s 10-2, yes. Playing their best ball as of late, and yet – these fans think that everybody should be fired. Why should everybody be fired on the staff for? Because they aren’t going to reach the playoff? That’s why Clay Helton should be fired?

I know. I complain a lot about USC (I haven’t this season as much because unlike you guys, I’m actually happy with how they’ve played this season outside of the Notre Dame game). This is outrageous and over the top.

USC isn’t a perfect team. Nobody in college football is, though. USC has flaws on offense and that starts with the golden boy quarterback (although the golden boy has been really good as of late). Word.

USC takes lapses off in games. Okay. Clay Helton is still green as a coach, same with Tee Martin as offensive coordinator. Cool.

That means we need to fire a coaching staff that has been successful in the 2+ years Helton has been head coach?

USC has won games ugly this year. It’s been strange but it reminds me of the Pete Carroll seasons, too. You know, the days these guys want so badly. It’s weird because when I was 16, I would act the same way most of these fans do. Spoiled. Can’t understand how great winning actually is. The ugly, comeback wins that USC has had would not have happened when Kiffin or Sarkisian were coaching.

Remember 2014 and the meltdowns that occurred that season. I do. I remember staying up late watching the Utah game and seeing Sark and his legion fold under pressure.

Remember 2012 and how USC lost a game to Arizona and Kiffin blamed Matt Barkley’s incompletion pass in Tucson (Kiffin played the blink 182 song and beat it to death there)  just because his face screamed PANIC? Remember losing the Mexico Sun Bowl on New Year’s Eve?

Lane Kiffin praying for a miracle
Yall wanna go back to this?!??!?

I think we need to examine the state of the program right now, and how good we really have it.

Why are you so angry over this team, and coaching staff? Are you angry over a winning record because they didn’t beat a team 45-0 on Saturday? Are you mad at they lost two games to take themselves out of playoff contention, then mad at that people won’t place them into consideration for it? I’m struggling to see where there is a problem.

USC starts games off slow, sure. As the game goes along, they play better. Pete’s teams – the guy you all clamor for still has his teams play the same way in their peak.

ronald jones ii colorado
(Nov. 10, 2017 – Source: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images North America

It’d be one thing if USC was 5-4, struggling to win the south when they clearly have the best talent. But when everybody in the conference cannibalized each other yet again, there’s no need to complain. Yes, I love national championships. It’s been ages since USC has gotten one.

That being said, we can agree that program is back to contending for championships, right? This is the first time in almost 9 years USC has put themselves with the opportunity to win the conference. The last time they won this conference, it was still the Pac-10.

Pete’s mantra was “Own the Rose Bowl.” He always stated about how it was important to win the conference and get to the Rose Bowl. Yeah, I know. Pasadena is hosting the playoff game so USC won’t be there this season. But what’s wrong with a possible trip to Arizona?


Look man, all I’m saying is – enjoy this shit. 10-2 with no bye weeks until Thanksgiving week is really a great season. 

If they go 11-2, win the conference title and end up in a New Year’s Day six bowl game, why are we as a fanbase supposedly to be mad? I know Clay wasn’t yalls first choice. He definitely wasn’t mine. But you know what? He beat my first choice in Seattle last year. Helton’s isn’t perfect, but outside of Nick Saban, who really is?

Whether some of you like it or not, the program has improved this year. Last year, they were 9-3 and got into the Rose Bowl due to Washington drumming Colorado in the conference title game. Now? They control their own destiny. 

Be patient. Calm down. Drink a beer. The national championship seasons will come. Fight On.   


some quiet weekend, huh?

curry, bron and two assholes
two of these folks are currently my presidents

Let me address this early. This is primarily a sports blog with some other things (ProsperSeason4 is coming next year), and I do try to stick to sports. I’m not this political science major and thank god I’m not. However, I do have a voice and I believe that it should be heard. This is my third time writing about Donald Trump. Once in November, last month and now this one.

Most of this is humorous because why wouldn’t it be? I try not to pay him attention but it’s like a bad movie that’s supposed to be this love story but turns into a comedy film in the middle of it (Everything, Everything. Watch it drunk. It’s funnier). He should be proud since provides great material for everyone to joke about – until we realize this isn’t a joke.

If you’re already annoyed by this, you can stop reading here and sub me on Facebook because you’re so tired of everybody talking about the reality television show titled America. It’ll only make you get uncomfortable from here.

Continue reading some quiet weekend, huh?